


No one likes Crabs

by Makaron



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 23:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makaron/pseuds/Makaron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>How could you know your feelings would be the reason why you couldn't look at Karkat in the eyes anymore? How could you know you would desperately fall in love with him? And how could you know John felt the same , when that day of december he told you</i>
</p><p> </p><p> <i>"Dave, I think I've fallen for Karkat"</i></p><p> <br/>In which Dave Strider is now 25, in love for some years with his best bro Karkat Vantas, and desperate when seeing his childhood friend John Egbert not being no-homo anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was always the three of you. Each day would be spent with them. They were your best friends and all the things you did, you did it together. John was the prankster, Karkat was the defender and you were the silent. There was no leader; one just proposed something and the other two followed. John would come out with ideas he thought funny, Karkat and you would just laugh. Then you would do a lot of things, not mean at all to you, but considered bad by others. Giving a chocolate box full of mud to mean professors, sticking memos like “I like pink ponies” or “King of Socks” on people’s backs, those were the kind of pranks you did. John was the one who would start with the ideas, you would agree to them all if it wasn’t for Karkat being a weenie and telling you some pranks were gone too far and how it was funny being assholes but not too much. You would shrug. John would sigh, roll his eyes and say “fiiiine”. Those memories were pretty pictures in you mind. It was always the three of you, doing stupid yet funny things together. You all promised each other you will never get separated and always remain friends.  
The best friends ever.  
Friends.

You adored John. You adored Karkat. As you all grew older, you stayed together just like before. You thought all would be okay, being with John and Karkat, spending the time with them as the most badass trio of motherfuckers in the town. You thought nothing would come in between you. 

But how could you know your feelings would be the reason why you couldn’t look at Karkat in the eyes anymore? How could you know you would desperately fall in love with him? And how could you know John felt the same, when that day of December he told you

_“Dave, I think I’ve fallen for Karkat”_

 

You remember meeting John when you were around eight years old. You don’t really recall when or where, but you just know your teacher told you all to find a partner and do some exercises. Ah great, sport, awesome. AWESOME. You looked around and saw everyone getting paired. Great. You really disliked when the teacher told you to find someone to work with. A hand fell on your shoulder and you turned around, hoping it wasn’t the person whose job was to teach you things. When you looked up, searching for the familiar face of the adult, you saw no one. Eyes getting down, a boy with black hair and a pair of glasses obviously too big for him appeared. “Who is this” you thought, not revealing any expression on your face. The boy smiled and you saw his big teeth at the entrance of his mouth. He looked like a bunny. 

“Do you want to team up with me?” he asked.

“Okay.” you answered.

All the groups got a paper and a pen, so did you. 

“I think we’re going to run.” The black haired boy said. 

“Seems so.”

You decided he would run first while you note his results because he said he had asthma and he preferred running first, so he could rest and calm his lungs while you were running and he was writing down your results. You told him “No problem”. The boy leaned down on one knee and tied his shoelaces. He got up and reached his hand out, smiling.

“I’m John. Nice to meet you.”

Damn his teeth really made him look like a rabbit.

“I’m Dave.” you said after shaking his hand. 

 

You were happy with John by your side every day. The boy seemed to be funny and he always had a joke in mind. You had to admit it, they were really good and you had no idea how a small guy like him could keep all those jokes in his mind. It was just incredible. He was the serious type in class but there were days, you remember, when he would do something on purpose just to make everyone laugh. John liked to be liked, he liked to be appreciated. He liked when people would tell him he’s funny or his pranks are awesome. He wasn’t the mean kind. In fact, sometimes you wondered if you weren’t smarter than him. Everything about him radiated with dorkness. One day you needed to check out something in his notebook, when you saw his last name on the first page. 

“John Egbert?” you said.

“Yeah!” he said as he continued copying what was on the blackboard.

“Egbert? Are you serious? Like, egg-bert?”

“Dave it’s my dad’s last name so it’s obvious I will use it,” he ended up with a small “duh”.

You stared at his name for a moment. What kind of identification was that.

“Aw come on, it’s not that bad! Okay tell me yours.” he turned around to face you.

“Strider.” 

“Well, uh, that’s a…That’s a cool surname.” 

John Egbert was looking at you without knowing what to say and it made you feel really cool. Strider wasn’t some easy to forget surname and it really sounded like some action movie hero’s name. And now entering, the most badass man ever, the one who beats all the enemies and no explosion can kill him, Strider!! Bang bang explosions everywhere, Terminator style. Oh yeah that sounded really cool in your mind. You wondered if Bro felt the same way.

The time went by slowly and you liked it. Aside from changing grades and having more knowledge than the years before, it was cool. Because you had your best friend John Egbert with you and all you did, you did it together. You got to know his dad and his older sister and John got to know your brother.  
One day of November, the teacher asked you all to remain silent while she tells you something important. 

“Hey Dave I was thinking about organizing a dinner at my house and you come with your brother and my dad meets him and then your brother can become friends with Jane.” John whispered to you.

“I don’t know about it, my brother is not really into fancy gala dinners.”

“It’s not a gala, just an invitation for Striders to meet Egberts. My dad and sister will prepare something to eat, come ooon! You don’t even have to bring the dessert!” he continued and you had to admit it, you liked his idea. But before you could answer to him, the teacher clapped her hands and you both turned around to face her. A boy was standing next to her and he really looked like he didn’t want to be here. Or was he shy? Well there was no smile on his face. He was looking at the floor and his hands were hanging against his sides.

“A new student…” John whispered, still looking at the front of the classroom.

“This is Karkat. He will be with us for the rest of this school year so please, be kind to him.” your teacher said, her hands gently on the boy’s shoulders. He looked up slowly and the first thing his eyes met was yours. You saw his gaze disappear as soon as it landed on you. The teacher told him to sit wherever he wanted, showing the free desks next to yours and John’s. Somehow you really hoped he sat next to you. Or at least, close to you. But instead the boy looked across the room and saw a free place in front of the blackboard, next to the window. He sat there and tucked his head into his shoulders, sometimes looking outside, sometimes at the teacher. 

You remember meeting Karkat when you were around thirteen years old. You don’t know what day exactly, but you knew one thing for sure. You would never forget his name.


	2. Chapter 2

You remember meeting Karkat when you were at the beginning of your teen years. He was the kind of kids who remained silent but obviously had something to say. He would never raise his hand to answer to any question. When the teachers would ask him something, he would just answer and if he was right, he would blush, frown and look away. Or hide himself behind a book. You didn’t quite know why, but you just couldn’t get your eyes away from him. That boy was way too interesting to be ignored. 

During the recess, John and you would sit somewhere and you would talk about all and nothing while he would eat his cookies or whatever his sister made him. He would laugh sometimes and you two would have fun, but even so you couldn’t avoid looking discreetly at the lonely boy at the other side of the field. He was sitting there on the ground, feet turned inwards and playing with the package of whichever snack was inside. Sometimes he would look up at the girls playing near him, sometimes he would just look at his feet, sometimes he would just bring a book and read it. You knew because of him being new, it was hard for him to make new friends. Did he have any where he was before? If he did, did he miss them? What did he like? What was his last name?

_Who was he?_

“You think we should tell him to join us?”

What?

John repeated his question.

“Oh. I don’t know. He doesn’t seem like enjoying that idea.” You answered.

“How could you know if you never asked him?” John said, standing up and brushing away the crumbs from his legs with his gloved hands. “Come on!”

“John I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You said as you tried to shove his hand away. But John Egbert didn’t want to listen to any of your stupid excuses. He took you by your hand and stood you up. You walked towards the lonely boy, your stomach feeling more and more like a black hole, your brain screaming and your heart pounding so hard you were sure the whole school could hear it. You really hoped you had something to cover up your face, or just hide you all. Anything! This was unbearable! When suddenly you remembered your sunglasses in your pocket, the ones John had given you just a few days ago for your birthday. Quickly you put them on and sighed in relief. Just in time.

“Hi!” John said with his usual buck teethed smile.

The boy, Karkat, looked up and stared at him, quickly glancing at you. 

“What’s your name?” John continued. 

God John how could you be so stupid?? He’s Karkat, the boy who entered our school a month ago! Really John, asking his name??

“Karkat.”

Oh god his voice was so cute. 

“Hi Karkat! I’m John and this is Dave!”

He turned his gaze to you and oh shit your heart just jumped. His eyes are so pretty and his hair so fluffy, all messy and wavy on his head and wow. Stop. Stop staring at me like this.

“Hello John and Dave.”

“Wow you’re really funny!” John said after laughing for a bit. “Do you even talk?”

Karkat looked at him, if maybe a little bit pissed off, when he breathed in and opened his mouth.

“I do. I do talk, John with Slimy Ghost gloves. I talk a lot, actually. But I don’t see any reason why I should talk to people I never talked to before. It’s just a fucking way to lose time, MINE, especially, so if you don’t have any fucking interesting shit to tell me, please be kind and get the fuck away from me, JOHN.”

What.

The fuck did just happen.

“Wow, you actually do talk.” John said.

“You want me to dance too, fuckass?”

“You swear a lot for someone who’s just thirteen!”

“I’m not.”

“You’re not what, swearing a lot?” 

“I’m not fucking thirteen, dumbass!”

Wait what? Could it be that he was older and he repeated a grade and now he’s in the same class as you? No, that cute little angry fuck couldn’t be older.

“When the fuck is your birthday, bro?” You decided to speak.

“Oh so you talk as well?” Karkat looked at you insolently. You just stared at him back.

“My birthday is on June. Enough for you?”

“So next year you’ll be thirteen? That’s cool! My birthday is on April, so we’re born the same year!”

Karkat looked at John and seemed really confused. It was so fucking cute. You never thought you could be so attracted to a boy; even John wasn’t-

Wait.

Wait a moment, Dave. 

_Attracted?!?!?!_

“Time to go.” You said as the bell rang. You couldn’t be more thankful. You started walking to the main doors when you saw John giving his hand to Karkat in an attempt to make him stand up. The angry boy just growled and stood up by himself, making John chuckle. They followed you close and the three of you entered the school.


	3. Chapter 3

At fourteen years old you never thought you would be happier than at that moment when your main teacher said

“We are going camping!”

Well, that’s not really what made you feel so happy.

“Since it’s almost the end of the school year and now you are all big kids -let’s face it you are not babies anymore- I have decided… We would all go camping in the South Forest! We will sleep in tents, activities in the nature and of course, the evening camp fire!”

No, what _really_ made you feel so warm and excited was what he said next.

“You will be separated, girls on one side, boys on another. There will be three students in every tent so don’t come to me all whiny, asking misteeeer, but we wanna be fouuuur in this teeeent! Because that won’t happen. Three. No more.”

Karkat -who was sitting in the forefront since the teacher put him there because he talked too much with John and you- turned to look at you and smiled, as if to ask if you would accept him being with Egbert and you in a tent.

_How could I not want being with you?_

“Will we tell horror stories as well?” John asked loudly and in a scary voice –he tried- loud enough to make everyone laugh.

“Yes John, for those who want to listen to your kitchen horror stories involving living cakes who can walk and kill people to eat their eyes, yes.”

Everyone laughed and John just ducked in and pouted. Well you had to admit the teacher’s comment was golden. Seriously, what was John’s problem with cakes?

The bell rang and you took your back bag, waited for John to put his things in his and walked over to Karkat who was still putting his books and pencil case in his Crab bag. Once he was done, the three of you just walked towards the main doors and got out. You loved being with them on your way home; you would talk, tell each other jokes and laugh at how lousy they were. John would talk about how his sister was so fun to play with, since both of them would prank their dad and he would throw cream pies at them. You wouldn’t talk much. You weren’t really the type of guy to talk about themselves, no. You preferred when people would try to get to know you by themselves, just like John did. As for Karkat, he would talk about how stupid this or that homework was, or about his older brother and his friends. Karkat talked a lot about his family. As if it was the main subject for him everyday. Maybe it was.

“No but you don’t understand, Porrim really makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes! She comes over often and when she sees me she just, grins and then hugs me and I’m there like, Porrim, I’M KARKAT! KANKRI IS OVER THERE!”

“Aw come on Karkat, it can not be that bad! I’m sure she’s a babe…” 

“John no. John. JOHN SHE’S MY BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND. JOHN STOP GRINNING LIKE THAT, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

“John, Karkat is right, here.” 

“OH SWEET LORD, THANK YOU DAVE. Finally someone wise-“

“She could bring back more babes her age and then Karkat invites us and boom. Hot party for the WindyAppleCrab trio-“

“DAVE!!!”

Oh god he was so cute when he got mad for something so insignificant. You weren’t even serious; you just wanted to mess a little bit with him. And his puffed cheeks and his blushing face were so fucking cute.

“John just, please imagine Jane inviting some of her male friends over and then I come and wow, these friends of John’s sister are so hot, what hot asses they have! Hey John mind if you invite them when I come to see you?” Karkat said, trying to sound like those actors you would see on TV commercials. 

“Ew no, Karkat! I’m not a homo!”

“Wait Kitkat so you swim towards men?” You asked him with a light grin on your face.

“What do you people have with someone being gay or not? It’s their fucking life, leave them alone! What if I were a homo, as John says. Would you start hating me just because of it? Would you run away from me every time I would approach you? That’s fucking stupid! It would still be me! You guys are so fucked up, I’m really sorry for that. I will pray for you so some miracle makes your brain shine and help you be less retarded.”

“Wow Karkat, easy!” John chuckled embarrassed, “I didn’t mean to offend you in any way! It’s okay if you prefer boys, I still love you! Err, no homo, remember?”

“John, we got it.” You added.

“Well, anyway. I have to go now. See you later on pesterchum?” Egbert asked as he started walking away from Karkat and you, towards his house.

“See you there, dumbhead.” Karkat snickered. You just told John you weren’t sure about it, since you had something to do with your brother and maybe that would not allow you to get on pesterchum tonight. John said “No problem!” and Karkat and you continued walking. You continued talking, laughing, arguing over small things… Spending time together. You absolutely didn’t know why that boy made you feel so alive and happy, you just enjoyed being with him. It even started to worry you. You knew John for a really longer time, but yet again, all the time spent with Karkat was like a chocolate brownie you would eat with a vanilla ice cream. It was awesome. Not that you really liked eating that, you just remembered he told you how he ate it once and it was the best dessert he ever had in his life. You wondered if you were as special for him as he was for you. John was funny and a really good friend, actually your first and best one. He knew everything about you and you knew everything about him. Sometimes he would be a total idiot but uh, who cared? You adored him. John was awesome.

And then there was Karkat.

He was… 

His smile, only used when he was with John and/or you, made your heart jump high. Hearing his voice near you made you feel like having butterflies in your stomach. He talking to you made you feel as if those butterflies were flying all inside of you, everywhere. When he would call you, you would just melt. How is that called, a crush?

You were having a crush on Karkat.

“So I’m not really sure about it… I wanted to ask you first since you seem to be in good terms with her.”

Shit. You weren’t listening.

“Who?”

“Terezi! I told you like five fucking times since John went home!”

What about her?

“Weren’t you listening??”

_No. I was thinking about why I like you so much._

"You weren’t. God damn it Dave! It was serious business!”

_My serious business is that I’M HAVING A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU, DUMBASS._

"I was telling you I… mmmight feel something for Terezi. You know. Terezi Pyrope.”

Your mind went blank.

“You know Terezi, right?"

“Yeah. The blind girl. Sitting next to Vriska, second line third seat.” You answered calmly, but inside you were screaming.

“Yeah. Terezi."

_STOP SAYING HER NAME ALREADY!_

“So? Good for you man. I hope she likes you back.” Wait why did you say that?

“Thanks Dave,” he sighed, “you don’t know how stressed I was to tell you this… I thought John would laugh or something even worse, reason why I told you first.”

“Wait so you didn’t tell John?”

“Not yet?” He answered, looking confused. Well damn. If that wasn’t another thing to put on your _what-does-karkat-do-and-make-dave-blush-like-a-total-idiot_ list.

“Anyway, we’re here.”

_Jesus fucking Christ Karkat your hair is so cute._

“Dave."

_Ooooh fuck you said my name again._

“DAVE!”

“WHAT?"

“We’re at my house! You can go now!” Karkat said, shooing you friendly away.

“Yeah sorry, I know. Whatever man, see you.”

“See you.” He said before turning to put his key on the door lock. You started walking towards the city, where your building was, when you heard him call you once again. You slightly smiled and turned towards him, pointing your chin at him to make him understand you were listening.

“Do you think I’m too young to have a crush? I’m only fourteen…”

You couldn’t help but feel something strange in your guts. Was he too young to have a crush? Hell, you were having one too right now. Were you going to tell him? Not even in John’s cake nightmares.

“Nah man. You’re at the perfect age to have a crush.”

He smiled, blushed and looked down. Cute little shit.

“See you Dave. My brother’s home, I have to go.” He walked inside and closed the door. You smiled back, too late, and continued walking.

Fourteen was the perfect number for the season.

The Crush Season.


End file.
